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Spell Cheque

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

 

TEACHER: Peter,, why are you doing your maths  multiplication on the floor?

Peter: You told me to do it without using tables.

 

TEACHER: Johnny, how do you spell "crocodile?"

Johnny: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

Johnny:: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell  it.

 

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

Donald: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

Donald: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

 

We are sometimes asked whether Wordshark is needed now that everyone uses a spell-checker. This poem, anonymously floating round the internet, may provide an answer:

Wordshark Tip:

 

If you have a child who spells like this, press F9 to “Search”, and type in “homophones” to find lists that will support your child’s ability to understand this poem!

 Childhood illness:

 

"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."

  "Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends.

  "I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."

 

Did you know - In Wordshark, you can add in your own wordlists of specialist vocabulary, and record sounds. Useful for medical secretaries!

Algebraic symbols

Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

Making Babies:

A 6 year old came home from school:

Child: "Mum, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
Mum (more than a little surprised): "That's interesting. How do you make babies?"
Child: "It's simple: You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

More fun snippets

More fun snippets